Yuav ua li cas kom tsis txhob hlub hluas nkauj "los ntawm txoj kev hlub rau ntxub ..."

Nyob rau cov nqe lus nug ntawm yuav ua li cas kom tsis txhob hlub hluas nkauj, psychology twb tsis muaj lo lus teb. Qhov no yog sib npaug rau cov nqe lus nug, yuav ua li cas Kuv yuav hloov kuv instincts. Teeb meem subconscious qib daws heev nyuab, yog li koj yuav tsum coj mus rau hauv tus account lub tseem ntawm qhov teeb meem no, nws muaj zog thiab ua tau zoo, mus pab txhawb ib tug me ntsis kev unrequited hlub.

Nyob rau hauv no tsab xov xwm, peb tsuas sim kom paub tseeb yuav ua li cas kom tsis txhob hlub hluas nkauj. Txawm li cas los, tam sim ntawd ceeb toom hais tias nws yuav tsis yooj yim, yog hais tias tus lawm yuav tsis yog cuav.

kev hlub lwm leej lwm tus

Yuav ua li cas kom tsis txhob hlub hluas nkauj? Qhov tseem dag thiab yooj yim tswv yim - mus nrhiav thiab lub caij nplooj zeeg nyob rau hauv kev hlub nrog lwm tus. Yog hais tias koj xav tias xav txog, ces qhov kev xaiv no mas, absurd, vim hais tias nyob rau hauv lub ntsiab lus ntawm cov lo lus nug thiab yuav pib ib lub neej tshiab, ua rau txoj kev loj hlob ntawm ib tug tshiab keeb kwm. Thiab tsis tau, yog tias ib tug neeg muaj ib tug muaj zog thiab muaj zog-willed cim, nws yog tau hlub ob peb cov neeg. Kuv hlub thiaj li muaj ntau ntxoov: peb hlub lawv niam lawv txiv, tej tsiaj, koj cov phooj ywg. Yog li ntawd, nyob rau hauv lub plawv muaj chaw rau lwm tus neeg. Yog hais tias txoj kev hlub yog unrequited, tab sis muaj zog heev, ces tej zaum koj yuav tsum tsis txhob tshem tawm no lawm thiab coj nws dab tsi nws yog, thiab nrog nws mus ntxiv nyob rau hauv lub neej?

Abstracting los ntawm qhov teeb meem

Qhov kev xaiv no yuav pab tau yooj yim rau qhov mob ntawm kev hlub. Koom nyob rau hauv interesting chaw ua hauj lwm, xav seb ib tug hobby, kawm tau ntau yam ntawm kev ua hauj lwm. Npaj koj hnub, yog li ntawd lub sij hawm yuav tau xav txog kev hlub ua li cas. Yog li ntawd lub sij hawm yuav dhau tsis paub txog thaum ces, kom txog rau thaum koj twb paub lawm hais tias nws yog tsis raug mob, vim hais tias lub sij hawm, raws li lawv hais tias, "kho", smoothes ntxhib npoo.

Nrhiav rau cov ntsiab lus nyob rau hauv lub neej

Yuav ua li cas kom tsis txhob hlub ib tug hluas nkauj nrog kev pab los ntawm kev nrhiav lub ntsiab lus ntawm lub neej? Nyob rau hauv qhov tseeb, lub xub ntiag ntawm lub ntiaj teb no lub hom phiaj yuav hloov nyob rau hauv tej rooj plaub, ib tug muaj zog kev txiav txim zoo. Ob tus thawj thiab tus thib ob - qhov tshwm sim uas muaj fanatical cwj pwm ntawm lawv. Vim hais tias koj yuav tsis zaum rau ob rooj zaum, ces hlub yuav ploj mus rau hauv lub keeb kwm yav dhau, yog tias koj muab ib tug tseem ceeb tshaj qhov teeb meem.

Hloov lub ntiaj teb no

Yuav ua li cas kom tsis txhob hlub ib tug poj niam, yog hais tias nws yog yuav luag qhov tseem ceeb tshaj feem ntawm koj lub neej? Ua li no, koj yuav tau hloov lub ntiaj teb no, ua ib tug reappraisal. Nyeem cov phau ntawv thiab kev sib txuas lus nrog rau ntau cov neeg to taub li cas rau lwm txoj hauj lwm rau koj. Nyob rau hauv xws li mob lub "ke" los ua ib tug materialist thiab utilitarian, vim hais tias lawv hais tau puas siab puas ntsws maneuvers txog lub realm ntawm qhov txhia.

tshiab kev

Los cuam tshuam los ntawm qhov teeb meem - noj ib qho chaw twg, muab tso rau koj tus kheej nyob rau hauv txawv txawv tej yam kev mob thaum xav txog unrequited hlub tsis ua kev zoo siab, vim hais tias nyob ze li amazing thiab zoo nkauj.

Nrhiav rau drawbacks

Yuav ua li cas kom tsis txhob hlub hluas nkauj los ntawm tebchaws nws tus kheej shortcomings? Nyob rau hauv qhov tseeb, nws tsis yog ib qho yooj yim txoj kev ua tau, vim hais tias kev hlub - nws yog ib lub zoo nkaus li thaum tej shortcomings hlub ntaus nqi raws li virtues. Lub idealization ntawm tus khub - ib tug kos npe rau ntawm qhov muag tsis pom txoj kev hlub. Thov npaum objectively nrog thiab lwm cov ntaub ntawv uas koj hlub. Zoo tagnrho cov neeg tsis tsis tshwm sim, thiab yog hais tias koj yog neeg ncaj ncees - yeej ib txwm nrhiav ib tug qhov khuam. Ua li ntawd no disadvantage tau ua heev tseem ceeb rau koj zoo, thiab yog li ntawd, nws yuav txiav ua tsawg qab ntxiag mus rau koj, thiab yuav tsis muaj lawm ua rau ntawm admiration, vim hais tias cov neeg uas koj raug kev txom nyem txoj cai tam sim no. Poob qhov kev xav tej zaum kuj tsis xav mus, vim hais tias lub neej tsis tshua muaj muab rau peb xws li ib lub sij hawm - los ua ib lub meej lawm. Nrhiav tagnrho rau ntau tus neeg yog ib qho teeb meem, thiab nyob rau hauv no tsab xov xwm peb tseem tabtom kom tshem tau ntawm nws rau lwm txoj kev nyob ib ncig ntawm. Muaj tiag tiag daws txhua txhua tus txiv neej rau nws tus kheej, hais tias nws yog ntau ib qho tseem ceeb: kev sib haum xeeb ntawm siab los yog koj tu siab heev, tab sis yeej muaj tseeb kev hlub.

ntxub

Hais tias, los ntawm txoj kev hlub rau ntxub ib kauj ruam. Tej zaum tsis nyob rau hauv vain kab lus no nyob rau hauv kev txiav txim no: ua ntej, muaj kev hlub, ces ib yam dab tsi tsis ua hauj lwm nyob rau hauv ib tug kev sib raug zoo, los yog lawv tsuas tsis tshwm sim vim hais tias ntawm lub ntshai hlub, nws suffers, yog paub txog cov kev ua yuam kev, realizes hais tias tus hlub - qhov uas nws raug kev txom nyem thiab pib ntxub. Cov no yog cov ob opposite phenomena: hlub thiab ntxub, thiab, dua li no, lawv zoo heev nyob rau hauv cov qauv, vim hais tias tus cwj pwm txawv cia mus thiab ua tus thawj thiab thib ob. Yog hais tias muaj yog tsis muaj kev sib ntxub, koj muaj peev xwm sim artificially ntxias nws, tab sis nws yog yuav hais tias qhov no yog tantamount to ib yam dab tsi tsis yooj yim sua, raws li zoo raws li artificially ntxias kev hlub.

Yog li ntawd, txhua yam koj yuav tau ua yog los mus hais tau koj tus kheej hais tias tus hlub nws tus kheej mus blame rau koj raug kev txom nyem. Koj yuav tsum ua rau nws raws li ib tug yeeb ncuab rau ib tug puas siab puas ntsws theem, thiab yog hais tias koj tsis xav mus masochism, kev hlub yuav tuaj mus rau "tsis tau."